I'm starting to hate french.
HATE french.
But it's so elegant. This hater of french says that french is elegant.
A paradox.
Contradictory again.
I hate grammar. I hate accents.
God.
Why am I against everything nowadays.
Holidays?
Maybe.
And why do I always say "God"?
I don't believe in such things. Not since...
Nevermind.
I'm a useless piece of junk.
I can't take it anymore.
I'm totally useless.
Whatever.
I don't care now. Why should I?
Caring does not save that last bit of self esteem.
I wonder what I've become.
I wonder why I've come to this world.
I wonder about so many things.
Is the world even real? I don't know.
Maybe I'm just being too philosophical. Well those types of questions always come up in philosophy.
只有自己走下去，才能找到自己的路。
自己走吧。沿路的风景没什么去享受的，它们都是垃圾，走过就没了。
但是因为它们只出现一次，所以才会珍惜。
为什么要珍惜？纯粹的浪费精力。
珍惜到后来，得到的是什么？是满足感？物质上的东西？物质上的享受？
还是情感上的满足？
静下心来，仔细想想。
其实，我们活着就是珍惜。
每分每秒，我们做的，只是珍惜。
珍惜每一次呼吸，珍惜每一个动作。
珍惜每一次来之不易的友情、亲情。
活着就是珍惜。但是珍惜是为了什么？人死了，所珍惜的东西都不在身边了，那还珍惜做什么？几十年后，回归黄土，阴阳两隔，珍惜的东西，都没了。
为什么要珍惜？珍惜到后来，都是一场空。珍惜到后来，只剩下悲哀。珍惜到后来，只有些泪水。
珍惜，可能是本能的吧。
可是每当问起这个问题，思索了良久都没有答案。
答案，或许在我们每个人的内心中吧。我不知道，它在哪里。我只知道，它在这里。
内心的深处，一个近在咫尺却遥不可及的地方。
Why do we treasure everything so much? We can't take it with us after we die. Nothing can be taken with us after we die. So why treasure?
Treasuring everything would just bring tears.
But giving up would also bring tears.
Which one would give you happiness?
Treasuring, or giving up?
Someone, give me an answer.
Give me an answer.
有谁，会给我一个确凿的答案？
还是这个问题的答案，需要我自己去寻找？
第二个，可能就是问题的答案吧。
Searching.
What would you ever find?
Blood, tears?
Something more beautiful than you could ever imagine?
I don't know.
The questions go on and on. They never end.
Even after the end of the world?
If consciousness still exists, I think, yes.
现在我只能去探索了，漫步在宇宙中，寻找。
漫步在地球上，寻找。
漫步在内心深处，寻找。
我的目标不明确，因为我要找的东西，太多太多了。我只能摸索着向前进，我不能回头。因为一回头就是无端的，剧烈的痛。
又是一个问题：为什么会痛？
从我们生下来，唯一的使命，就是找寻吗？
可能是吧。
我不清楚，因为我不清楚这个世界运行的规则。
不过知道了规则，有没有什么用，我也不清楚。
归给一句“不知道”。
呵呵，“不知道”。不知道这句话负了多少的负担。
刚才又用了一个“不知道”
不知道是世界上最长的词。
因为，它永远都没有尽头，只能顺着它摸索。这个旅程，应该是向着光明的吧。不过光明长什么样，我都不知道。那么，我怎么知道，旅程到了尽头呢？
又回到了这句话，摸索。
从摸索，又回归到这句沉重的话。
“不知道”。
I don't know anything. Don't ask me.
Sounds like some guy being interrogated by the CIA.
But, my CIA comes from within me. Weird huh, CIA, an organisation, within you,
n, an unknown.
Unknown. Maybe that's a comfort.
Maybe it's better not to dwell on such stuff and just get on with life.
Maybe the secrets of the universe are not to be meddled with.
Again, that phrase.
“不知道”。How long would I be living in this state of
不知道?
我需要多长的时间摆脱无知？
答案，可能是永远。
7:29 PM
